The Courtship And Marriage of Harold O’Brien and Joan Terry
In March of 1949, a life-changing meeting occurred, when Joan Terry’s Uncle Tom came to the Terry family property (‘Dalmuir’) near Hughenden in Queensland for afternoon tea.
The red arrow bottom left shows Dalmuir station
Joan had returned to ‘Dalmuir’ after living in Sydney for four years while training to be a nurse.
Joan in her nursing uniform, taken by Sidney Riley in Brisbane in 1948 when she was 23 years old, a year before meeting Harold
Accompanying Uncle Tom was the new manager of Goldsbrough Mort and Co, Harold O’Brien. Harold had been sent from Brisbane to open a branch for the company in Hughenden.
Some history of Harold at Goldsbrough Mort and Co
Joan recalled that as soon as she walked into the lounge, Harold sprung to his feet to be introduced and gave her a sweeping bow. She also noticed how enamoured Harold was of her mother’s classical recital on the grand piano.
At the time of this first meeting, Joan was 24 years old and Harold was 28.
Before the afternoon was over, a business agreement was made with Joan’s father Alexander and her brother Cob, who were in partnership at the time.
Joan’s father, Alexander Terry was a cattleman originally from the Burdekin district who became interested in the Western Downs cattle country after a cattle tick plague decimated the family’s herd on the coast. As a result, his family turned to sheep grazing in the Hughenden district. You can read some interesting snippets from Joan’s youth here.
Harold returned four days after this initial meeting to have lunch and afterwards drive Alexander and Cob to a sheep inspection.
Harold and Joan’s first date was at the upcoming race meeting at Richmond. These highly anticipated social events were a must on the outback calendar, so Harold took the opportunity to arrange a meeting there with Joan. Joan’s brother Cob, who was the same age as Harold, was courting Mary Brosnan at the time, a young lady from Lucerne, a sheep station north of Richmond. So they all met and made up a foursome.
At the time the races at the Richmond course were being run by the Clutha Picnic Race Club, so this first date is likely to have been on Saturday 20 May 1949, an event covered in the following extract from the Longreach Leader of the following Friday, 27 May 1949.
Longreach Leader - Friday, 27 May 1949, page 9
That year, Joan recalls having a fantastic time socially, attending race meetings and dances. Cob and Mary were married in Townsville that September with Joan as bridesmaid and Harold, who had formed a close friendship with Cob, as a guest.
Within a year however Harold was transferred from the Hughenden district to Chinchilla in southern Queensland, which was over 1,100 kilometres from Joan’s home in Dalmuir.
Harold’s transfer to Chinchilla - Townsville Daily Bulletin, Saturday 15 July 1950, page 7
Christmas cards from Harold to Joan - 1949 and into the 50’s
He goes on to lament how it doesn’t compare to the hospitality of the Hughenden/Richmond District and how he wished he was back in his “old stamping ground”.
Through the tyranny of distance and work aspirations taking them in different directions, Joan and Harold lost touch. In 1951, Joan was keen to extend her nursing qualifications and left for Brisbane to start her one year Midwifery certificate at the Royal Brisbane Hospital.
More than a year had passed with no contact, so it was quite some surprise to Joan when the hospital matron approached her about a Harold O’Brien requesting his phone number to be forwarded. Rules for trainees living in the nurses’ quarters were strict in those days. Joan noted the hospital matron was not impressed and probably thought Joan’s mind was not on the job! However, after completing her final, Joan agreed to meet Harold at her sister’s home in Brisbane. Thus began the revival of their courtship.
Joan and Harold parted ways again, but this time they kept in contact with a flurry of letters and the occasional phone call. Seven of Harold’s letters survive with one dated 24 January 1953 from the Theodore Hotel, where he was holed up while his car was “hopelessly bogged on a 12 mile long black soil flat” with rain continuing to fall. You can read some of these letters here.
After commiserating about most of his clothes being left in the car and having to wash every day, he wrote:
How have you been since I left? Lonely, I hope. I will be in Brisbane in the not far distant future & will contact you then, but in the meantime let me have some news of your doings.
The irony here was that Harold himself, being ensconced at the Theodore Hotel, was just a couple of kilometres from Lonesome Creek. 😁
Harold lonely at Lonesome Creek
By March, Harold was still writing from the Theodore Hotel saying:
This life is making me very lonely and a week or so in Brisbane would help matters considerably. I practically live in the motor car, but that is the only way to get to know a district.
In his letter dated 12 October, Harold writes from Longreach, where he was employed by Queensland Primary Producers (also known as Primaries):
With regard to our future plans I am not in a position to set out any programme. Perhaps a lottery would save the day.
Dry conditions were prevailing in the region and slow sales had impacted agents’ commissions. So, no doubt with fingers crossed, Harold included five Art Union lottery tickets for Joan. Sadly, since the tickets survive and are all still together, I’m guessing they didn’t manage to “save the day”.
It seemed that hopes of marriage were pinned to these 5 Art Union tickets (1953)
He signs off the letter with, “Look after yourself and keep smiling. Lots of love from Harold.”
After 6 months of nursing at the Greenslopes Repatriation Hospital in Brisbane, Joan answered an advertisement for nursing staff at the Longreach Base Hospital, where she moved in 1954.
Joan O’Brien’s wedding to Keith Brown - 16 May 1953
The photos below show Joan Terry and Harold O’Brien at the wedding reception for Harold’s sister Joan and her husband, Keith Brown on 16 May, 1953. Joan was wearing her mole coloured suit and blue feathered toque.
By this time Harold and Joan had committed to marry. They returned to Sydney 18 months later and the ceremony took place on 6 January 1955 in St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Neutral Bay, almost 6 years since their first meeting. Joan was 29 and Harold 34 years of age.
The reception was held nearby at ‘The Gables’, the O’Brien family home overlooking Middle Harbour.
The O’Brien family home, ‘The Gables’, 29 Earle Street, Cremorne NSW
Most of Joan’s family had very young children and lived in outback Queensland, so her only relatives in attendance were two aunties and a cousin who lived locally.
Harold’s Uncle Harry Casey ‘gave Joan away’ and Harold’s eldest sister Mary, who’d travelled from Papua and New Guinea with her husband Arthur Strachan and their three young sons, acted as Matron of Honour. Mary also took charge of the catering, while Arthur performed in the role of MC. Harold’s eldest brother Jack O’Brien was chosen to be Best Man. Harold and Joan’s honeymoon was a few days at the Hydro Majestic at Medlow Bath in the Blue Mountains district of NSW.
Hydro Majestic, Medlow Bath in the 1950’s - where Harold and Joan honeymooned
Joan had made both her wedding dress and her going away outfit, which was a pink dress with slashes of gold on the skirt. The outfit was topped by a pink straw hat with a rose tucked under the brim. This was the new, fashionable look of the day.
A remnant from Joan’s wedding dress, which her daughter Madonna still has
Harold and Joan hired a car and made day trips to Bathurst and Jenolan Caves during their honeymoon.
Their return to Longreach from the Blue Mountains was, according to Joan, a “whole new world”, with the phone beside their bed ringing at all hours and Harold often up at 4am meeting train loads of sheep.
Their large Queenslander, provided by the company was on the corner of Swan and Cassowary Streets. Thus began their married life together.
The following 2 images show Irene and Bill O’Brien’s visit to Longreach late in 1955. At the time Joan was pregnant with their first child, which sadly ended in miscarriage after a trip on a corrugated dirt road. This was the last time Joan and Harold saw Irene, who died in 1959 before their daughter Madonna was born.
Adapted from Joan Terry’s memoirs by her daughter Madonna Barraclough, with additional material from Rob Landsberry, last modified 10 October 2023