Letters following Helen’s passing, 2006
Letter from Kate Landsberry to the Hortons, May 2006
To Uncle Peter, David, Peter, Mark, Max, Alan, Anne-Maree, Tricia, Jane, Helen, Marion, Jenny and families,
After Mum called to let me know about Aunty Helen passing away, I sat for about an hour and a half on the back verandah of my little cottage on the Central Coast, looking out to the bush reserve and thinking of each of you in turn and of all the memories I had of your Mum (wife).
What came to me most of all was your home in Schofields all those years ago. My daughter Charlotte lives near there now, yet when Mum and Claire and all we kids used to come and visit it was a major trek to the country! I can totally picture us arriving through the dust to a simple home filled with love and laughter. I can see your Mum at the cooker humming little tunes like she always did. We often bought clothes and other things with us, and your Mum always took these with such grace and good spirits and with an attitude that made us feel we were giving gold. I remember the fun we had with you all and the old tennis court up the back and the blazing fire in the fireplace.
I loved those times, and I loved your Mum. She was an extraordinary lady and with your Dad, she raised eleven extraordinary children. And I really mean that. It's not often that I would imagine you would find eleven people of the quality that each of you are, and I know so much of who you are has come from your Mum. She always struck me as a woman who looked at life quite realistically and just got on with it — always making the best of what life provided.
She was funny and warm, with of course a little wicked streak and the love of a drink.
Claire and Helen sharing a joke and a wine at Gwen’s 70th, 1998
And always beneath and above and around her life, was the knowledge and love of her creator.
I have been thinking of each of you and of Uncle Peter and your Mum constantly throughout the past weeks. Greg and I have morning meditations/prayers and have kept you in these daily. And we will especially do so on Monday.
It's a strange thing to be losing someone who is 'always meant to be there', and yet I know it’s a part of life, and I know that Aunty Helen's life is one to be celebrated. I'm glad that her pain did not endure and that she is now with God for all of eternity.
My loving wishes go to you all at this time.
Sincerely
Kate
x
Letter from Rob Landsberry to the Horton’s, 6 May 2006
Dear Alan, Peter, David, Mark, Max, Anne-Maree, Marion, Trish, Jenny, Jane and Helen,
I just wanted to say what a privilege it was to attend the service celebrating your Mum's life and the gathering afterwards. Unfortunately, due to my travel arrangements, I didn't get a chance to talk to you all as much as I would have liked, so I wanted to write you a note. Having been through the death of my own father I know how many people will say that they know how you're feeling, but it's generally not true. The relationship between each of you and your Mum was unique and special and you'll each feel her loss in a unique way. But you'll also each hold your unique memories of special times with your Mum, of which there were very many, I'm certain.
And years later, almost 15 in the case of my Dad, you'll find yourself still using expressions that your Mum used, and passing on stories of the good times.
Helen with Alan, Peter, David, Max, Anne-Maree and Mark, 1958
There are a few things I just wanted to share with you all as someone outside your immediate family.
I remember coming to your house when I was young. It always seemed to me to be quite a magical place. Back then I thought of it as a farm, like Uncle Jack's farm, with hundreds, if not thousands of acres. I guess things always seem bigger when we're small. I suppose if you compared your lives back then with kids of today, some may say that you went without. But that was certainly never something that crossed my mind back then, nor now. I mean, you had all that space for all sorts of adventures. And there never seemed to be anything but peace and happiness when we visited.
I'm sure there were tough times, but give me a close loving family over an X-Box or a PlayStation any day.
I don't know if you're aware how special your family is to someone looking from the outside. There’s an aura of calm, of peace and of a warm friendliness around all of you. You have a quiet gentle way about you that's rare in these days when everything seems to be so brash and in your face. Every time I meet up with any of your family, this is the first impression I have.
Nowhere was that more obvious than at your Mum's service. There was a hand on someone's shoulder, a touch on someone's hand, a glance between two of you and a supportive smile that said so much. I saw it. And it was understated, not at all obvious, but full of love and genuine care, just like your Mum was.
The Horton clan, 2006
I've never really got to know your Dad as much as your Mum, but it was lovely to see him looking so well considering the difficult circumstances. I had a chance to chat to him and again, there was that gentle, quiet way.
From my own perspective, the things I'll remember about your Mum are the fact that she was one of the most consistently happy people I'd ever met. She was always smiling, and when you got her laughing, she was one of those people who laughed with her whole body, to the point where she was crying and dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. It was that infectious laugh that got everyone going.
And, of course, the random humming of a tune that no one but her seemed to know. And the games of 500 where her Catholic morals gave way to cheeky none-to-subtle hints, like "Oh, I must go down to the CLUB later", or, looking at the ring on her finger and saying "l seem to have lost one of my DIAMONDS.... I've only got FOUR".
Always good fun whenever I had the chance to catch up with her.
The O'Brien's are a very special family, and none of the clan reflects that more than the Horton's. Both your parents should be incredibly proud of you all. I don't believe that either of them was the sort to brag to others about your achievements or how lucky they were to have you. That simply isn't something they saw a need to do. But I know how much her family meant to your Mum, and how proud she was.
In one generation we have gone from O'Brien families of 9 and 11, down to few that have 5. Gone are the days when we are likely to see 11 children in one family, so I think you are very privileged.
To be surrounded by so many who are so close is very, very special.
My Mum was speaking to Anne-Maree on the phone the other night, and Anne-Maree mentioned that she had some photos and letters of and from your Mum. I mentioned to Mum that, when the time is right, I would be happy to put a DVD together as a tribute to your Mum. If one of you would like to volunteer to coordinate from your end, and once you're feeling up to it, if you'd like to do this, then please call me at home on 9411 5458 or at work on 9879 8226.
It would be something that would be a keepsake for your Dad, for each of you, and for the many Horton generations that are to come. And it would be an honour and a privilege for me to put it together.
Aunty Helen was special to so many of us.
Cheers
Rob
Reply from Anne-Maree, May 2006
My Dear Robert, (and to all concerned)
We have just returned from a week’s stay at Port, catching up with Dad and Pete and other members of the family.
It was somewhat strange returning to a home that was no longer buzzing with the love, warmth and laughter of our darling Mother, however we all carry on as best we can, maintaining a close sense of family support necessary to us all, especially for our poor Dada.
Helen, 1940’s
I was deeply touched by your very lovely letter and appreciated your many kind thoughts regarding Mum and each one of us. I would very much like to acknowledge how grateful we are to each one of you! And we will treasure always the loving support and kindness you have shown us. Please thank David and Belinda for the beautiful HUGE flowers that delighted Mum so much, and of course she was touched to tears at such generosity. She recalled being David's Godmother, and the only thing she could ever remember giving him was a medal! We all laughed ourselves to tears!
Helen with David Landsberry at David’s christening
Many thanks to Kate for her beautiful letter and very kind thoughts. Your many memories of our family have delighted us all, and I know Mum had a special place in her heart for each one of you. She wanted all of you to be safe, happy and well. Mum was a devoted pray-er with a practical deep faith and a real concern for all her family, relatives and friends, there were no exclusions.
A close friend described her as being one in a million. To us there was no question about it. She was the best - a wonderful, wonderful Mother! We were grateful that many of you had the opportunity of speaking to Mum via the phone before she slipped away from us, passing on words of love and support - precious last farewells - she appreciated it all very much, and the short time she had only made her more determined to make the most of every moment, spending her last day before being bedridden, wining and dining with family and close friends at a local winery! How grateful we now are that she was given that last special outing. She loved it, as did we all!
We appreciate the effort that so many of you went to to be part of Mum 's farewell. It was such a blessing having Father Mark say Mum's Requiem Mass. It was her wish, and we are forever grateful that Mark was able to fulfill it. It was a very beautiful service, and we were overjoyed having other O’Brien family members join us as well. For those who couldn't be with us, your very kind thoughts, cards and flowers spoke volumes.
We are grateful to Dear Aunty Pat and the Horton’s in Victoria who have kept in close contact with us, offering their love and support for Mum, Dada and the family. We all appreciated it enormously. Mum and Aunty Janet sharing a close bond of friendship that began when they both married their Horton sweethearts.
Thank you to the Brown family. It was wonderful seeing you all, especially Karen. I had not seen Karen for such a long time. It brought back many memories of holidays spent with their family and the generosity that all Mum 's family extended to us when times were just a little tough.
We especially would like to send a heartfelt Thank You to the Henkes family, who we have always enjoyed close ties with, traveling from north and south to be with us, and for the very lovely flowers that so many of you sent, bringing us all joy, comfort and hope!
God bless you all abundantly.
This leaves me with one last thought, that is to extend a huge thank you to you Robert. You have grown into a remarkably talented and generous man. We especially thank you for all the time and effort you have spent in gathering together and in documenting the wonderful lives of The O'Brien family, and what a family it is, unique and very special. I would like to think a little of their charisma and warmth will live on through each one of us.
We continue to enjoy in sharing in the generosity and love of our remaining darling Aunts, the Dolly Sisters! And Dear Uncle Cyril. Their loving bond can never be broken and each of us are better people because of them.
Gwen, Claire, Cyril, Helen and Anne
With regard to your gracious offer of putting together a personal keepsake of Mum, we would be most grateful and truly honoured. We are most touched by your very kind offer. It will be a great joy and privilege to work with you on gathering together our very special memories. We miss her terribly, but her gentle and loving spirit remains with us forever.
Warmest Regards and Love to you all,
Anne-Maree on behalf of The Horton’s
Written by Kate Landsberry, Rob Landsberry and Anne-Maree Hession, compiled by Rob Landsberry, last modified 4 June 2023